Mother's Day - 2017

It's literally been years, but I'm making the effort to blog again.

The girls are big, I'm working more and more, and we have a wild and crazy (newish) lab.  His name is Fitz, and he's just over a year old.

I love that I've been able to capture so many of our family's memories in this blog, and realized I've been missing so much not blogging the last few years.  Blogging provides a greater context and hey, I'm a writer, so the more background, the better.  You don't get that with the Facebooks and Instagrams.

Facebook and Instagram are for other people -- many of whom you used to know -- to keep up with what we're doing.  Blogging is for me and my family.  I think I'm going to stick with the latter.

Ever since I was a little girl I kept a diary.  I kept a diary all the way through undergraduate school.   I threw my diaries away years ago, but wish desperately I would have kept them.

There was one particular entry I wish I still had.  It was from the day I met Song.

I still remember what I wrote.  I was (still) pining over the loss of my ex-boyfriend who lived (literally) 30 feet across a cement path from me.  It was all about how much I missed him, how lonely I felt, how I didn't know if I'd ever feel that way again, etc., etc.  And, then there was one little blip about how how I met my neighbor's visiting friend, and how he might be transferring to UCSD the following year.  I said he was cute, and that I hope he did transfer down.

Well, wish granted.  And, *poof* 21 years later, here I am.

I cannot reiterate how much I wish I had that particular diary entry.  More than just sentimentality, I wish I had that entry to show my daughters that a lot of us go through heartbreak (there were, I'm sure dozens of nauseating entries about that ex-boyfriend in there).  So they could see  how blind I was to the fact that I had met the man of my dreams and had NO IDEA at the time.

I know they are young, but I think it would be valuable to show them today, so they could tuck it away in their memories, and hopefully remember it when someone breaks their heart.  I don't wish heartbreak on them, but I'm not ignorant to the fact that it happens to most of us and those with a strong constitution, and sense of self tend to fair better.

Today I had a lovely mother's day with my girls.  Songer was gone on a business trip.  They picked flowers from the garden, and decorated the house before I woke up.  I played soccer, we took the dog out, we ate Persian food, and we watched a movie together.  Barring Songer not being here, it was perfect.

My apologies to the man

who pulled into the parking space after me at school today.

He probably stepped in a puddle of puke. 

It was like any other morning.  I pull into the school parking lot.  I open the door to let Mo out. 

“My stomach doesn’t feel good.” 

Then, she does that telltale cough/burp sound.

I pull her out of the car and she pukes.  And, pukes.  It would be the one day that she had a big breakfast. 

I grab the phone and call Miyo.  She’s pulling into the parking lot.  I ask her if she can walk KT into school since Mo is now naked after having pulled her pukey dress off her.  She says yes. 

I start working to bag up Mo’s pukey dress and the wet wipes I used to clean up her hands and face.  KT starts yelling from in the car “I have to go to the bathroom.” 

Of course you do. 

A happier Mo.

a day like today

Warning: This post is way wordy, but being performed as a therapeutic exercise.

Today was one of those days. There was so much crying, I ultimately had to laugh because it was so ridiculous.

Crying Fit #1

The Culprit: Mo

The Place: Early morning, the house

The Scenario: Mo wakes up cranky demanding to watch a show (told you I jinxed myself). Papa tells her to stop crying and to ask mom nicely as he is leaving for work. She continues to scream and cry for a long time. Finally out of nowhere she stops and comes over to cuddle with me.

The Ending: Eggs are made, no show is watched.

Total Crying Time: 15 minutes.

Crying Fit #2

The Culprit: Katie

The Place: Late morning, the park

The Scenario: I peek at the treasure Katie has been collecting and see a broken piece of glass amongst her finds. She tells me it looks like Cinderella’s ice skate. I agree, but inform her that sadly we can’t keep a broken piece of glass. Crying ensues. I am called a bad mom. She tells me she loves this piece of glass more than white bear, that I’m mean, etc.

The Ending: It’s lunchtime, I tell her I’ll take a picture of her treasure before I throw it away. She continues to sob all the way home.
Total Crying Time: 15-20 minutes

Cinderella's Ice Skate taken hastily with my phone

Crying Fit #3

The Culprit: Mo

The Place: Lunchtime, the house

The Scenario: I get lunch ready – I offer turkey and cheese or leftover tortellini. Katie begins to eat. Maddie demands soup. I tell her that we can have soup for dinner. She begins to cry. Katie finishes her meal, serenaded by Mo's screaming. Mo finally comes over to me and rests her head on my leg. I ask her if she wants turkey or tortellini. She says tortellini.

The Ending: She eats 8 pieces of tortellini (huge for Mo), takes her sippy cup half full of milk and leaves. I go looking for her a couple of minutes later and find her in bed.

Total Crying Time: 15-20 minutes

Crying Fit #4 - Part 1

The Culprit: Mo

The Place: After nap, the house

The Scenario: Maddie wakes up and Katie and her cuddle in her bed. I get Katie’s snack ready. Katie tries to leave to have her snack. Maddie cries when Katie tries to leave her.

The Ending: Food trumps her little sister, and Katie eats her snack.

Total Crying Time: 5-10 minutes

Crying Fit #4 - Part 2

The Culprit: Mo

The Place: After nap, the house

The Scenario: I tell Mo its time to get ready for ballet. She tells me she doesn’t want to go, she in fact wants to go swimming. Katie and I proceed to get ready to leave the house. Mo decides she wants to change (not into ballet clothes, mind you), but starts screaming when Katie attempts to help her. She lays down and cries. I go in to help. She demands a dress. I get one down, she says “no, I want dress with one button.” I show her another one, she says no “dat have three buttons, I want one button.”

The Ending: We find a dress with one button, go to ballet and everything is fine.

Total Crying Time: 10 minutes

Crying Fit #5

The Culprit: Katie

The Place: Late afternoon, the house

The Scenario: I walk over to find Katie, brown marker on her fingers and marker in hand writing directly on the craft table. She immediately says, Maddie did it (really?! I think, that's what you're going with on this one?). Words are exchanged, she tells me she doesn’t want me to be her mom, that she only wants dada, and screams to the point of coughing. I let her cry in her room. I try to talk with her where I explain that everyone makes mistakes, that the important thing is to admit when we make poor choices and apologize. She tells me she doesn’t even know how to do that and she won’t. As I’m leaving she is yelling “I’m going to cry for the rest of my life.” Sweet.

The Ending: Katie comes out and apologizes for writing on the table.

Total Crying Time: 25-30 minutes.

And in the end? It's now 9 p.m. and Mo is yelling about being hungry in the other room...

my little warrior

Today, after a long week of combat with mini-me, we had a wonderful afternoon without the taint of nasty words, timeouts or a battle of wills.

We climbed into bed together read stories, chatted then settled down for a little snooze.

Perhaps it's because I'm with her all the time being a SAHM, maybe it's because we have similar personalities, but we can really get to each other. Patience and constant communication are the only weapons I yield.

Three things I try to remember when it comes to Katie:

- Show her the respect I want her to show to me.

- Don't be afraid to be wrong or apologize when I am in fact wrong - no one is infallible.

- Repeatedly tell myself "she's only 5."

My little cherub.